Like this:

Okay, first things first, pardon me for that last post. I just felt a bit bothered at the time of writing that one. I felt the rush, choked by some issues I couldn’t (or should I say, I didn’t know how to) let off my chest thus the steam of stress-filled slash weak physique came out in a form of blog post. Phew~ But I guess I’m still living up to the main reason why I have this blog in the first place. Out of so many reasons, being able to express myself in such a way that I couldn’t talk it out with someone else in a human body, is of major priority. So typing out my angst in life is part of this blog, that you have to understand. And besides, it’s good to know (and let you know) that I’m still human. I have my own sets of joys and sorrows. I laugh and I cry. Life is fair, isn’t it?
You see, not everything is as it seems. (Hmmm, that sounds like Prison Break…)

Anyways, just so you know, these weeks that have passed have been quite a roller coaster ride. Yeah, except that the roller coaster I was riding on got a problem and the brakes (if there are any) got stuck as it was at the highest peak. You can just imagine how scary and unimaginable it is if you were there at the top, alone, and do not know if somebody would ever come by and rescue you. Superman and the rest of the superheros went for a holiday so I have to figure out on my own how to get myself down… You get the drift.

As I have shared here before, last month has been one of the lowest moments of my life when my dear mother went home to be with the Lord. The pain and the sorrow was unexplainable and overwhelming that even now when memories of her would surface out, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I know I miss her. Things have not been okay with me since then and though I was confident in answering “yes, I’m Ok!” to those people who checked on me, sorry, but I don’t really know how to be alright. I guess, it really takes time to heal and get over this phase in life.
As if it weren’t enough though, last week my grandfather who’s been bed-ridden for quite sometime departed from this world as well. To be honest, I didn’t know exactly what to feel when I got the news from my uncle. It was as if I were already too numb to feel any more of loneliness this world has to offer.
Things back home got a little too hot just as well. There was a conflict between my father and his siblings that has become a little too serious that they needed to settle it, otherwise things would get more complicated. I opted not to jump in and join the party, so to speak, since I thought they were too old to know what’s right and wrong, but I was wrong. Okay, not too much about my clan issue, alright. The last news I got when I called home yesterday was that they all sat down and talked already so I think everything went back to normal now. Praise the Lord!

Now, at least you have the slightest idea why I have been dormant and silent in the past weeks. Let’s just say that I have not been in the mood to talk or share with anyone. Please bear with me. Your understanding is highly appreciated. Thank You!

How about now? Well, thank God for that relieving sneeze a while ago. Funny how one sneeze could open up my eyes and see things from a different vantage point. I know it’s not easy to understand what I’m saying, you might think it’s odd but that’s how things go with me sometimes. hehe But yes, that sneeze really brought something good in me. I have realized that I still have a lot of things to thank God for. Things might be kind of dark now but I am almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I just need to keep going… Up, up and away!

Lastly, you might wonder about the title. I don’t have time to explain it now, maybe next time. But I just want to say that I love that song and I kind of connect with the lyrics. Weird? Nah, I’ll further explain this in one of my future posts. In the mean time check out the video below.

It’s not easy… to be me.

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